Poor Fella

I guess the man is just plum dumbfounded as to what to say. He called me on his way to work for a few minutes to say he got the information about my surgery. He said he read through all of it, and asked if I really knew that much information about it. I actually laughed, and said, “Sadly, I do.” He really was confused on whether the surgery was a good thing or bad thing, and that definitely complicates picking up the phone to call. Ahhh, I see now.

Perhaps I need to be a bit more basic when I speak to people. Have you heard a doctor give a seminar to people who aren’t medical professionals? They continue to use the jargon and manerism that accompy their occupation. However, the information often falls on deaf ears, because it isn’t in words the listener understands. That could be what is happening here. I’m not saying I need to dumb down what I’m saying, but rather be mindful of the audience’s knowledge base. I needed to say, this surgery is a good thing. That would help people. I need to be clear on the fact that while I’m nervous, I still feel that medically it is beneficial. So, now that I know that, it should be easier to bridge this giant chasm between the two of us.

I need to bear in mind that our worlds are completely different, and that under normal circumstances we probalby would never have the opportunity to meet much less know one another personally. Despite this fact, the circumstances aren’t normal and we must find some form of common ground. Dear God, please let us find one soon. Food? Nope, totally opposite. Music? Ha, not even close. Entertainment? We both like movies, but my husband and I rarely watch them. Hobbies? Not remotely similar. Books? I read, he doesn’t. Interests? Polar opposites.

If I had been raised by this man, people surely would have asked me if I was adopted. (Yes, I know, we would have had more in common if that was the case, but you get what I’m saying.)

So, tomorrow is his birthday, and I will call tonight to wish him well and happy 50th. I did get him an rediculously expensive watch in honor of the big FIVE-OH. He’s on the phone tree list to call post surgery, and he knows as much. He seemed appreciative. So, let’s home most of this crap is just due to a bunch of new beginnings clumsiness and not par for the course.

Published in: on April 24, 2007 at 8:35 am  Comments (6)  

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6 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I’m glad to hear that he’s picked up the phone and tried.

  2. I’ll echo what amanda said, thank goodness he called at last.

    Have you read Manuela’s blog? It’s password protected, but this situation with your father really made me think about her recent post on how hard reunion is. You are really living that right now.

  3. Picking up the phone is a start. It will take time for things to sort themselves out. This can be such an akward situation.

  4. He’s trying. And that’s a really good start.

  5. In a lot of ways, he sounds like a typical bumbling man. Not to excuse him completely, but he obviously has no clue. I hope it will get better over time.

  6. Hi, I just found your blog and it looks like you don’t post on it anymore but I am looking forward to reading through it. We are just starting to *think* about foster to adopt in Iowa. I haven’t found many blogs to read regarding F2A. Our old site where we posted regarding our surrogacy attempts was http://www.freewebs.com/thedyerbaby

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