Nervous

This post could have been labled, Exhausted, Nervous, Excited, and Scared Woman Wondering What the Hell 2007 is Going to Bring Into Her Already Crazy World. It just wouldn’t fit.

I find myself reluctant to do the by then game with adoption, as I did with infertility. I hate to say we should have a child by the next Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, etc. I so desperately want to be able to say with certainty that by then, things will be as I want them to be.

I’ve been watching my husband with renewed interest lately. I watch him play with our neighbor’s daughter, and I get misty. I watch him put together our future children’s toys, and I just know that I’m falling in love with him all over again. I know this journey will be difficult, but my heart is so full. Full of hope, love, and excitement. Ok, with a little fear and humility mixed in.

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Published in: on January 1, 2007 at 12:54 am  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. You should have a child by the end of the year the latest. It may not be freed for adoption yet, but you should get a placement.

  2. i’ve been “by the next whatever” for the last four years…but know that one day i won’t have to anymore. you won’t either. i just can’t say when. watching my husband through this has been amazing. our struggle has made us the best of friends, lovers and support for each other.

  3. Just found your blog. I’m wondering if you could point me in the direction of the other blog you mentioned so I can catch up on your story.


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