Not What I Expected

I walked into my parent’s house yesterday, and said, “Mom, I think I want to have a baby shower.”

She replied, “Um, you’re not pregnant.”

(No shit, and thanks for the reminder.)

Again she replied, “I’ve never heard of anybody doing that. At least not that I’m aware of.”

Me, “They do, and it is acceptible, and a great way to welcome the baby into the family.”

Her, “Well, don’t expect any support from the family.”

(What the hell is this all about?!? My grandmother is excited. I haven’t discussed it with others. However they live far away, and it’s not their decision.)

The convesation boiled down to me being upset, and feeling that she didn’t support me in my pursuit of adoption. Allow me to clarify, she’s understanding and excited as long as the child fits her criteria. Cucasion newborn. Um, yeah. Most likely not going to happen. She was the first and only person not excited about the idea. It was definitely a bummer. We’re close, and her support means a lot to me.

How long will it taker her to warm up to the idea of adoption? She says she is supportive, and tells everybody that. However, these off handed comments, lead me to believe otherwise.

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Published in: on December 23, 2006 at 9:07 pm  Comments (5)  

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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I don’t blame you for feeling bummed out. I would hope that everyone in your family would welcome any child with open arms, even if it were purple and had horns. At least that is how it should be. I hope your mom will be more excited when you have word that a child is coming home.

  2. When the baby/child arrives, her feelings will probably change. My parents weren’t sure at first, especially with a medically needy baby, but now they can’t imagine life without him.

    I had a baby shower shortly after bringing Smiley home. Just because I couldn’t get pregnant, why should I have to miss out on a baby shower? I didn’t have as much turnout as pregnant people in my family did, but the important people were there.

    It takes a while for them to warm up to adoption because many of my relatives are so sure I’m gonna get pregnant so why should I bother.

    Hang in there. It gets better and it’s so worth it!

  3. That would be disappointing. I’m sorry. I’m sure that Lisa was right that she will probably warm up when you bring the child home.

  4. Honestly, do you have a friend who can (1) lead the shower and (2) talk to your mum about her important role as grandmother-to-be at the shower? Sometimes hearing stuff from a third party makes things click. If your mum could see everyone else happy and supporting you, she may lose some of her fears/opinions.

    If we lived near each other, I would totally throw you a shower. And I’d even make five kinds of Martha Stewart cookies to serve as dessert. And I would get you the Fisher Price Ocean Wonders toy because not only does every child love it, but I totally wanted one for my own bed once I saw it 🙂

  5. My husband and I have been foster parents for 1 year now, and have had four children through our home, two of which are still with us, and one of which we are in process of adopting. And so far, my family has not even offered to have a baby shower for us. Very disappointing, but unfortunately, not a lot I can do about it. I have hinted, and even blatantly said I want one, but so far, nothing.


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