An Old Friend

I talked to an old friend on the phone yesterday. She’s the kind who will let you bear your soul. So, I did. I guess it is what I really needed to do. I told her how I thought I had changed, mentally, physically, and emotionally. How I felt about my body and the world around me. We discussed where I was going from here. We talked about marriage, and infertility’s toll. When all was done, we had laughed and cried together. She described what it is like to be an outsider watching a friend go through infertility,

“It’s like standing underneath a giant waterfall. So much coming down on you at once, and you can barely comprehend the force. Yet, when you have time to step back, take a look again from a distance, you begin to understand it.”

I can see what she means. I’ve had time to analyze all of this, and she gets the condensed versions. I love her for being such a wonderful person, and for trying to understand.

In other news, I’m just plain exhausted from the push pull of adoption and infertility. My parents want us to keep riding the infertility roller coaster of treatment. My husband’s want us to move on to adoption. I’m with my husband’s parents, but have to live eight miles from my own. My mother hasn’t been playing fairly either. She pushes emotional buttons that she believes will make me do what she wants me to do. Standing up to her has never been easy for me, largely due to the fact that we are very close friends as well. So, when comments like, “You’re not giving up are you!” come to rise. I squirm, and reply, “No, Mom, just moving on.” So, now I am going to go and take some more M.otrin and try to remember that this too will pass.

Published in: on December 19, 2006 at 9:24 pm  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Your friend needs to give lessons to some of my friends.

    I think you will just know when it is time to stop treatment, only you and your hubby can decide when that is, so no matter what anyone else says, do what is best for you both.

  2. Don’t let her pressure you. Just make the decision that’s right for you and your husband.

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